Quite some time ago, for the nth time, our Buddhist Meditation teacher taught that because we cannot find “me” in any of “my parts” there is no me. Unlike the n other times where I seethed in silence, this time I disagreed loudly. It was an ugly moment. The teacher looked stunned and hurt. I felt boorish and ashamed. At that moment, I decided to shut my mouth until I have something to say.
That idea grew. I stopped blogging. Who wants to read page after page of a dribbly blog? Why not be a scientist, artist or musician and only publish the final work? The idea I stumbled on however loudly is not ready for primetime. When I can publish “What am I?” I will.
My sponsor argues otherwise. He says I should blog regularly. He also says I should pray. Tonight, then, I will do both. I will pray to my channel for guidance and we can see what it says together. After all, I claim that our collective channels will eventually form the 4th Testament. As grandma says, “the proof of the pudding is in the eating.”