The Chinese Feast

宴 = The Feast

432Hz is supposed to be some miracle vibration. I used to listen to Alan Watts on a Sunday afternoon radio broadcast, many many years ago. Put the two together and I should experience some sort of nirvana. I found such a YouTube mix, turned it on and went to meditate in the bath. I was bored.

The only thing I can think is somewhat interesting about 432Hz, is that were you to travel 432Mi each 432nd of a second (e.g. at 432Hz) you’d be travelling at the speed of light. And 432Hz was somewhere near the old Baroque tuning A.

What comes to mind was lunch at a San Francisco Chinatown restaurant in the 80s. Yes, a long time ago. A very Jewish friend from NYC took me. She not only had a NYC Jewish accent, but was as tall as me and 50 pounds heavier. Gargantuan. The waiter came to take our order and his eyes about popped out of his head as she set the menu to the side and ordered a feast in flawless Mandarin — she was actually a China-trained acupuncturist. The cook came out, jaw dropping, and just stood there nodding. Before we knew it, a feast of the sort I’ve only seen in the Harry Potter movies appeared before our eyes. It was a sight to behold. But it wasn’t on the menu. The tourists in the room were looking at our table with envy, scanning their menu for clues. I’m sure they were pointing to the Chinese menu on a piece of paper at the beginning of the menu as the offending culprit. And I would imagine the Chinese-only speakers were pointing at the expensive part of the English-language menu.

And that’s the bottom line. I feel I’ve spent my whole life looking at other people banquets with envy and bitterness that it wasn’t on my menu. You’ve heard me talk about my Buddhist meditation groups, but I feel like a fake. And what sort of Christian am I? I don’t even think Jesus walked the earth. I’ve hidden behind too many lies to proclaim I’m a scientific believer in The Truth and my shit-for-work job is no testament to my success as a human being. Quite the opposite.

Now is the time to give up and dive in. I’m finally going to re-read Channel Z0001 — I originally typed re-channel Z0001 — and just go through ’em. Time to do my own cooking and stop lusting after everybody else’s feast, which has just left me high & dry.

Z0001

That was weird. But I do remember the one part about the committee. Something said stirred my interest. Maybe some history. Yes, I grew up in a Mormon town and tried converting to Mormonism when I was in 8th grade. It didn’t go well, for reasons that don’t matter to me at the moment. I knew about channeling, in other words. Then on that fateful day that I met David and was introduced to hard drugs, I was also introduced to Jane Roberts, who channeled Seth. 20 years after that, I tried on my own three times which totally freaked me out and I stopped, relapsed and then tried again three years later, now October, 2007. That was a few months into my longest time clean in my life and at the end of that clean time, the channel said “stop channeling and work on Step 6” but I didn’t. Now, I feel a strange urge to just re-channel, I’m going to stick with that mis-English, my own work.

I feel a need to move on and I just checked. Z0002 was 11 years ago today.

Z0002

The part that almost got me was:

Larz is a good man, but very much a boy and really barely beyond infantile. We say that lovingly we mean that like an infant he needs a lot of care and coaxing just to survive here.

I really do feel fragile. There’s no “wow factor” going on with my channel, but it is pretty discomforting to have it state that it is basically an independent entity from me that views physical reality as some sort of projection. I feel today that the channel is some element of my damaged psyche. But what the F do I know? Well, that’s it for tonight.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s